I just thought of my blog that I had started so long ago, and logged on to find that I have been really bad at keeping up. I thought that I had kept a better record of my cancer journey. So much has happened and now it has been over a year, I don't know if I can remember details to record.
Torey and I decided that the best thing I could do for me would be to have a bilateral mastectomy. I have known too many people that did not opt for this and are now gone. I also felt that it would be best for me just for the sake of not worrying about it everyday for the rest of my life, a peace of mind sort of speak.
We chose Dr Eric Anderson to do the surgery, and he suggested that Rob Ferguson do the reconstruction. When we met with him, he told us that part of healing is to go ahead with the reconstruction. He said that most of the women that don't do it will come back a year or so later because they don't feel very good about themselves. I just kept thinking that yeah I will have nice perky breasts again woo hoo.
I was told that since the cancer was in one of my lymph nodes, the process would be to have the surgery, then chemo. I didn't need radiation because of where the cancer was. I had made arrangements with my work, and my family as to when I would have the surgery. My parents were coming to Utah the night before so that I could get a blessing from my dad. I was working and getting ready to leave when I received a phone call from my insurance company saying that they would not pay for the non affected side. It was 4:30 p.m. I just started crying. I do that a lot lately. I called my mom and dad, they were on their way already. They said that I should go ahead and do it, and they would pay for it. I called Torey also and he said lets just do it and we will pay if they won't.
Now as I'm writing this I remember another little bump in the road we had. Dr. Ferguson's MA was gone to Disneyland when I first met with him, and we set up the surgery date without her. He even told me that she would not be happy about the date because she would have to reschedule some other patients that were clinic visits, but that was the only day both surgeons could coordinate.
I had received a call from the OR and had been given a time, and Torey also saw my name on the schedule since he has access to it. I got a call from Dr Ferguson's MA saying that there was no way I could have the surgery that day and that it would need to be scheduled a month later. This also was the day before my surgery, so you can imagine how I am feeling right now. I called Torey and told him. He was not happy.... he called to talk to them and didn't get very far so he walked up to the office and showing up in his green scrubs and OR hat had some effect ( he looks important and people think he is a Dr.) He got it straightened out and my name got put back on the schedule. I love him for that.
That night my parents got to my house and my Stake President Ken Moss and Bishop Dave Greensides came over to give me a priesthood blessing. I remember crying the whole time but trying to listen to the words, trying to feel peace, trying to feel better about my decisions that I was making. My dad gave me a very nice blessing. I love him for this. I did not feel instant peace of mind, but my Stake President said he did and that things were going to be OK.
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