I waited until after Labor Day weekend to schedule an appointment to have a diagnostic mammogram.
I scheduled it at the womens center at IMC. I didn't tell anyone except Torey and Carl. I had been worried more than I let on. When I saw the pictures, and they said I needed an Ultra Sound, I just knew it was not good news. During the u/s the tech went and got the Dr. and while he was looking at the mass he told me that it looked suspicious and wanted to do a biopsy. They made special arrangements right then and biopsied two spots. It was pretty uncomfortable on the first 3 passes, but the second set was not as bad. It felt like a baseball was in my arm pit, but ice helped.
I texted Torey and he came down from his work and we chose Dr. Anderson to make an appointment with for Wednesday Sept 19th to discuss what will be next. We then went to the cafeteria for lunch.
Wow what a flood of emotions. How do people take news like this? I just feel like it isn't really happening, and don't know how I am supposed to handle this.
Dr. Brett Parkinson is the radiologist who did the biopsy, and he called me Thursday morning to give me the bad news that I did in fact have breast cancer. He said it was invasive ductal cancer which is what 80% of breast cancers are. It is a mass measuring 2.5 cm and the lymph node that was biopsied also came back positive. He suggested that I get a breast MRI asap to see if they are the only problem spots. He gave me his cell phone number and told me to call any time of day or night if I needed anyone to talk to or if I had any questions.
I got off the phone and I just started crying. All sorts of feelings came flooding in and all I could think about is losing my hair and being sick, how I was going to let my family and friends know, how much it all is going to cost, how this will affect Torey and Carl. I am just really scared of what can happen.
I know lots of people go through this same thing and do very well, and I have also known some who go through hell and don't ever get well. The crying was intermittent the rest of the day.
I called all my siblings and only got answering machines. RaeAnn was the first to answer, then Ty.
The phone calls were returned throughout the day and I broke the news to everyone. What a stressful day. We went and looked at a house for sale in Riverton, then Torey called Caleb to see if he would help give me a priesthood blessing. He called his parents to give them the news and found out that they had not left town yet. Boyd came over to help with the blessing. My parents were in Billings during the day, so I didn't talk to them until later that night. They had left a message saying they were coming on Saturday so that dad could give me a blessing. I told them thanks, but it wasn't necessary, since I already got one.
The next morning, I called Bobbi at Mill Creek Imaging and let her know what was happening and told her that I might not be in to work if I could get an MRI appt that day. She was very supportive and I could tell that she was having a hard time taking the news.
I made the MRI appt. for Friday Sept 14, Torey was off and could go with me.
I was surprised that I had to have IV contrast. I didn't know much about breast MRI. The contrast Multihance made me feel like I was going to vomet. I knew to take deep slow breaths and it would go away, but I felt kind of sick the rest of the day.
Bobbi called and asked me what the results were and I told her I wouldn't know until Wed. She insisted that I take the disc to ST Marks and ask Dr Bell to go over it with me. I am glad that I did.
Torey and I sat down and he showed us where the mass and lymph node were. He told us that he didn't see any other areas of concern. That was a relief, I had been worried that cancer might be in both breasts.
These flowers are from RaeAnn and they were waiting for me along with dinner and salad when I got home from work. I didn't really know how stressed I had been until I saw this nice surprise. I started crying again and was happy that she did this act of service for me. I guess I needed it even though I thought I was fine, I need to remember this kind of service and pay it forward.
